April 21, 2011

Female Wildcat

Enemy Attack!

Captain Bludd bared her teeth, balancing on the remains of her ship.  The once-mighty Blistered Gullet was now nothing more than flotsam, doomed to be lost to the cruel waters.  But even that wasn’t as cruel as the laughter of the beast standing at the edge of the burning wreck: Dedgutt Venomfang!

The wildcat captain hissed and spat at her archnemesis. “Cross my ‘eart, rotscales, I’ll ‘ave your eyes for this!  Burn me ship and slaughter me crew, you’ll never find the treasure wot I hid! I’ll-whoa!”

A gust pushed the old barrel from beneath Bludd’s footpaws and the kitten toppled, yowling, into the abbey pond.  She recovered with unusual grace, surfacing with only a minimum of flailing.  She clawed all over at the bobbing barrel to right it.  “Garn! rotten ol’ moldy planks, that’s wot you are.”

“What in the name of Martin’s whiskers are you doing?!”

There was a frantic splashing and burbling as Bludd tried to escape.  She clung to shore, claws splayed against the earth, ears flattened, quivering.  She looked up at the squirrel, wild eyes wide.  “…I can explain.”

A crimson gobbet spattered the front of her tunic.  “…Oh bloody ‘ellgates.  I mean, sorry!”  Sputtering and sniveling, she undid the wet kerchief from between her ears and held it up to her nose. It always happened when she got scared.  Ikkle Bluddy pinknose.

“How’d you get in here anyway?”  The squirrel curled his lip as Bludd, who had clambered onto dry land and slithered beneath her blanket, let loose with a series of wet sneezes.  “Tch.  Go on, then.  Get home before I tan your hide.”

The cat’s ears drooped, apparently no longer able to support their own weight.  “Got no ‘ome, sir.  I’m an orphan, I am.”

The squirrel didn’t budge, so Bludd added another bubbly sniffle. “Me parents were killed, sir. I seen it ‘appen wif me own eyes. ‘ey was both done off with…” she cycled through the various possible reasons. “Eaten.  By sea-otters.”  The squirrel cocked an eyewhisker and the wildness tinged her eyes again.  “They dunked ’em in ‘otroot sauce and-!  Oh, sir, you gots to believe me!  I was only ‘avin’ a bit of sport, anyway.”

The squirrel already had a rejection on his lips when the first badger-growl of thunder rumbled through the clouds.  He glanced upward, then to the saturated wildcat and sighed.

“Thank your lucky stars it wasn’t Mother Agnes who caught you, young’n.  Come along now, hurry up.”

Bludd’s ears perked and she was on her paws in a tail-twitch.  She followed the squirrel in a romp across the courtyard, sniffing at the coming rain.

“…and we’ll know if the scones are stolen, so don’t even try.  Are you listening?”

“Oh aye, sir.” Bludd offered a fluttery smile until the squirrel turned back to the path.  The cat continued swatting at his swaying puff-tail until they got inside.

“…Can’t have anybeast out in times like these. Even vermin.”

His words floated out the door unheard.  Bludd’s eyes widened and her nose started dribbling again.  “Cor…!”

No wonder this place was more difficult to break into than the rest.  It was like a castle!

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